MY LIFE IS A FREAKING CABARET, 'OL CHUM...

...Une Part...

When the commercials for the revival of Cabaret were aired on TV, the show starred 

Natasha Richardson, as Sally Bowles :(

& Alan Cumming, as the Emcee,

I wanted to see this show, badly...

Doug got tickets for my birthday, but by the time he got them, Cumming and Richardson left the show and I was left with Gina Gerson & Craig Bierko.

I was terribly disappointed. Gershon was a 'blip' to me....I couldn't think of a single thing she had done.

And Bierko? Well, he had single-handly ruined one of my favorite movies, "The Long Kiss Goodnight,"

 with Geena Davis & Samuel L. Jackson.

He played an evil villain,

impersonating a moron,

who should have first slit the throat of the dolt who wrote his dialogue for this movie.

It was akin to Mickey Rourke's
Cheeto-faced performance

in Wild Orchid...

Every time Mickey opened his mouth, I was screaming with laughter and rolling on the floor in a movie theatre in Flushing, Queens..even though it most certainly wasn't a comedy. 

(Come to think of it...who in the Hell was permitted to name this town???),

I just couldn't help but add witty dialogue whenever Mickey paused

and I got Wild Applause
from the disgusted audience,

who were starting to form a big, fat queue
on the refund line.

Anyway. I am digressing here.
Back to Cabaret.

The seats were phenomenal…we were sitting practically ‘in the set’. 

A giant spotlight suddenly shines DIRECTLY on to 'Yours Very Truly' and remains there.

As I suddenly and stupidly think that this was some surprise-thingy for my birthday, I’m all blushy and aw, shucks…ready to wave to the audience or, cringing now in memory...stand up. 

I look up and standing directly behind me is
Mr. Evil Villain…

The spotlight was for him and HIM only. 
I conceded my moment 'in the light’ to him…
Frankly I thought he needed it more than I did.

I never bought him, as a good actor, although moron thoughts like that never got ME my acting career, but Craig sure got his.

Somehow, I STILL don’t care for him…

CABARET, PART DEUX

Meanwhile, back at Studio 54....

We took Doug’s parents, since his Father said to me, "I want to see that show with YOU." 

Wow. I felt so honored...so, so special.

We didn't have the heart to tell him that we had suffered through the Bierko-Gershon version already, so we said, "Great. Love to."

This time around,

I got Molly Ringworm &

Raul Esparza...

As we're sitting at a café table, with a little votive candle burning for ambiance (and apparently, the only light you can get, when the house-lights are off), a waitress appears to take our drink order –

Yes! Alcohol on Broadway. Now we're talking.

And this was long before the Broadway show,

Rock of Ages

 highjacked the idea and made a killing.


So. Like seventy-five bucks later, for four crappy Chardonnays, thank you very much….

the space is very tight and it’s obviously,
very dimly lit.

As the show is in full-mode, I’m sipping on the

pricey dog-water

& really getting into the show...

I put my left hand on my husband’s thigh and I’m rubbing it to the tempo of the music.

This goes on for a good three minutes, when out of the extremely pitch black theatre I hear,

“Wrong Leg.”

The subtitle of this story is now,

 “How I Felt Up My Father-in-Law &

Lived To Tell About It”

I felt my five fingers recoil in horror, as they backtracked off of his thigh and I could hear him choking back laughter, so as not to alarm the neighboring theatre-goers that he had been touched inappropriately in public, by his
daughter-in-law.

Two minutes later, my Mother-in-Law is asking what's so funny and what did she miss?

Having recently watched

The Piano

with my husband,

I asked Doug to pull out an ax &

 chop off all of the fingers on my left hand,

 as soon as we got home.

That would fix my wagon...

~SusiTheJ~