IF THE KEEBLER COOKIE COMMERCIAL WAS FILMED IN 1974 ON HEATH AVENUE

I felt an urgent compulsion

 to post some important commentary

about the recent commercial that

the Keebler Elves have put out:

Here's the drill....

Two sisters come

through the door, from school.

They’re greeted by their Mother,

asking how their day was.

They quickly blow her off

with a perfunctory "good" &

 head for the cupboard,

to get the bag of

Keebler Fudge-Stripes cookies.

The older,


taller sister






 

takes the package down,

only to discover that

there’s ONE cookie

left in the package.
Now what moron eats all but one cookie???

Her younger, impish sister

(not because she's cute, but because of her enormous elf ears) 

Now you think I'm nuts, since there's not a Dumbo-ear, in sight.....

But Hang on.....

...STARES HER DOWN,

as she holds the solo cookie and

 mulls her moral duty, as the first-born.

Instead of breaking the cookie

 into two pieces,

she hands

THE WHOLE F’ING THING

to her beloved, younger sibling.

The little brat actually

TAKES IT!!!,

and says,

 “Thank You,”

in a tone that implies 

her sister's altruistic decision

was a no-brainer from the start &

she really had no right to even hesitate,

in making it.

Bratty walks away to gobble it down

before her sister can change her mind,

just as the magical baking elves manage

to get another single cookie back in place.

The older one is a little taken aback,

by this mysterious occurrence,

but shrugs her shoulders &

 happily eats her mystical cookie.

BIG SPOILER ALERT!!!

(TOO LATE)

Okay, so if you haven't seen it,

I've ruined it for you...

but click once on the link below & go 

check it out, before you read any further:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbO7fR7eLEc

Holy Crap!

Did you see those ears, come & go,

from frame to frame? WTF is that??

This little girl is OBVIOUSLY

the secret love child of Prince Charles...

NOW, let's examine reality in my world:

         

In 1974, In A House On Heath Avenue:  

  
If my older brother

had actually been so generous to me,

apart from getting him an

MRI of the brain, toot sweet….

he would have beaten

the holy crap out of me,

for not giving him half

of the f’ng cookie,

 

for his selfless gift, 
which he now proved 

 I was not worthy of,
in the first place.

  

In 1974, In A House On Heath Avenue:  

  

....he STILL would have beaten

the holy crap out of me,

for not giving him half of
the entire f’ng cookie,

 

for his selfless gift,
 which he now proved 

 I was not worthy of,
in the first place.

In 1974, In A House On Heath Avenue:



My brother would have

laughed his ass off at me, that: 

1.  HE “found” the cookie,

2.  I was seriously S.O.L.


&

 3.  that would have been,

the end of that.

Or he would have licked it, first.



 

Dear Mike,

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Ha, Ha, Ha,

I’m two years younger than you….

(So I should naturally live longer…)

 With Love,

Your Incredible, Wonderful Baby Sister....  

~SusiTheJ~