Fete Accompli, a la Grucci...

Because I have lived a life marred
by such occurrences as
being born on Leap Year,

being an actress...

from the very second of

my entrance onto Planet Earth,


as well as being the
general class clown that I am,

I decided…a long time ago,

that I would have to

exit Earth,

spectacularly.

I have attended my fair-share

of memorials & the like.

I have heard every sweet story,

of having ashes sprinkled

over the heartland,




over the ocean &







over ex-lovers,

but mine is unique.

I told Doug, when we were planning
our final arrangements,

just what I envisioned.

Now, being a wee lass,
who is a whopping six years

younger than my husband, 

I have to have contingency plans,

in case he goes first.

or not


My plan is to

execute,

pay for &

have Notarized,


my final wishes...

for my final hur-rah.

I plan to pay for this shin-dig
with all of my F-You Money...

that's code for money that I've earned,

killing myself for nothing:

...my pension from Revlon.

I have documented my desires,
should my husband outlive me &
 try to take the proceeds
for these plans &
have his beloved
1980 Trans Am rebuilt


 

or something..

I’ll expect you
to do the right thing &
call him on this,
should you out-live me & actually get
 an invite to this beach bash...

As it just so happened,
 I recently portrayed
 a Blonde Zombie in

"Rusty Hillenmeyer's-

 How To Survive A Zombie Outbreak,"

so it's obvious that I am
 an expert on the subject.


And since I have

SOMETHING

against 

ANYTHING

eating my remains...

be it worms,

maggots or

the dreaded Zombie,

I wish to be cremated.

After everyone is done
throwing their
grief-stricken bodies on my
limp & dead remains,

 I want my ashes to be

taken to the Grucci family,

to be professionally
stuffed into specific
Roman Candles & the like.

I expect 

AND

 will pay for

a magnificent display of my

dead ass...

all over the night sky.

 

 I envision this Last Soiree,

 as follows:

A whole fun,

family-surrounded-afternoon of

sun,

surf,

food & booze.

Hopefully, no one goes &
gets eaten by a shark &

tinkles all over my final festivities...

But I selfishly digress.

At dusk, everyone can go
to the provided facilities &
shower off, from their day

in the sand

and the sun

and the Banana Boat.

They will put on sweatshirts &
return to the beach...

to a prepared,
ass-kicking clambake &
liquor-fueled fest.

Those little sand chairs
will be provided,

to sit as low as you desire

to the ocean,

as you sip your

Kendall Jackson Chard

 and think of how
stupidly generous I was,

serving MY favorite Chardonnay,

when I don’t even get a sip,



cause I ain't got no lips...

You will eat,

drink &

be very merry...

all on my dime.

You will reminisce about

stupid things I’ve done with you or

shared with you or

how I almost

got you killed that one time.


 

When the sky is pitch black,

all of the sand chairs will be
 pulled into a nice circle,

like the beginning of Jaws...

hopefully without

the ending of Jaws.

Grucci employees/descendents

will be toiling from

a safe distance,

to light up the sky...


with Moi, inside. 

When the first ooohhhh!

is heard, that’ll be me

you’re ooohhhing at.

I will be colorful &

I will be spectacular.

 

There will be no tears…

Just some good Chardonnay,

as you share an old, old girl's goofy stories,

with a few snarky observations thrown in,

from real time....

When you gather your kids

(or your great-grandkids)

 to go home,

you’ll be all warm & fuzzy,

 as the stardust from the evening sky,

 will remain in the children’s hair,

long after you tuck them in to sleep...

 

I can’t envision a

more wicked ending,

to one hell of a wild ride...


 

~ Thanx, D.J.~

I hope you can make it...

     

 ~ SusiTheJ ~